Trading Spaces

Episode: Keeping Up With The Joneses

March 29, 2008

Meet competitive buddies Jim & Rick and their wives. The dudes are driving their wives crazy with their never-ending one-upsmanship.

Rick's wife is Laura, who is an interior designer (who needs Trading Spaces?). Jim's wife is stay-at-home-mom Linda.

The men provide the necessary footage by boxing. We learn that Jim usually wins things, even having beaten Rick at tennis with his leg in a cast.

They are each concerned about who has the bigger tool. Seriously. They said that.

Oh, and Jim never finishes his projects.

Paige tours Rick & Laura's blue living room. Their "very blue" living room. It has a washer and dryer in it. Why? It looks like they tore down at least one wall to make for a big, open floor plan. (One with a washer and dryer in the corner.) But they want this room to "be one" with the rest of the house.

In Jim and Linda's bedroom we see a huge room. With a huge wall of really ugly wallpaper.

Linda wants a four poster bed.

Key swap. At a local boxing gym we learn that the designer are Frank and ... Edward!? He's back? And they're calling him "The Enforcer?" (I guess it's a joke on the boxing thing.)

Hey! He finally cut that damn pony tail! ... I wonder if that means he's finally lost his virginity? (I didn't make that up. Really.)

Edward is working with Himbo Carpenter Brandon in Rick and Laura's house. Edward plans on creating a room with a Moroccan feel. Jim's confused by this.

They start to move the furniture and  ... Eeeek! A sea of fake bugs under the couch! That crafty Rick!

Meanwhile, Rick and Linda are working with Frank and carpenter NuAmy. Jim pranks back with a set of kiddie tools. Ha.

And why does this grown couple sleep with Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls in their room?

Edward wants to put in an entertainment center to act as a room divider. (Where's the plant, the uplight and the touch of black?) In his room, Frank wants to create a mantle and a four-poster bed. Wants an old world look with clean, contemporary lines.

Than it's time for the paint reveal. Edward reveals his, a very Moroccan brown. Linda is worried. They call the brown "dirt brown." Edward says it's called "Revival Mahogany."

Then Frank reveals his. Blah. Tuscan gold. And orange for a faux finish with glaze, since Laura is an interior designer and can pull this off. As usual with Frank ideas, I'm underwhelmed.

Moments later they're painting over the wallpaper. Never a good idea.

Predictably, the bubbles and seams are making the painted wallpaper look like "crap on a warm day," says Frank. So it's time to take down the world o' wallpaper. Will they have enough time?

Art Project Team Frank. They're doing some nonsense that involves "little tiny drawings." Somehow this is intended to help the men put the rivalry behind them. And how is shitty art supposed to do this exactly?

Art Project Team Edward. He wants Linda to find some of Laura's designs to put in her "space." And Jim has to finish the "project" to show Rick that he can finish something.

Hey, I'm glad there's no crappy "art" going on here, but I'm really missing something. What is the point of any of this? Either Edward decided the concept of a relationship-changing "art project" was stupid  or ... nah, he thought it was stupid.

Because it is.

Somehow, Jim isn't obsessed with this "project." He's more concerned with incorporating retaliation for the fake bugs. That's the spirit. 

Back at crappy art project Frank, the chubby fey one says how much he loves "little bitty drawings." If you're playing the Trading Spaces Drinking Game, take a swig. Frank is"freehanding." Oh, it's so charming. They're drawing ...  a heart ... a tennis racket. On paint chips. And framing it all.

Sorry, I support the arts. Not the crafts.

Now it's time for homework. Team Edward needs to stain and paint. Team Frank is busy eating rocket pops and contemplating painting above and beyond the assignment. (Competitive much?) We also learn that before he left his house, Rick turned off the water heater so Jim would get a cold shower in the morning.

Is it me, or are these guy's concepts of what makes for a funny prank really, um, lame? Now the folks a few years back who admitted to using their friends' spare key while their friends were away on summer vacation to take down the family's Christmas tree, ornaments and lights and have them come home to a winter wonderland? Those were creative pranksters!

Day Two. At Team Edward, the fireplace looks great. Plus, Jim has finished something for once in his life.

At Team Frank, it's faux finish galore. Frank gushes over the painted fireplace. It really does look like an entirely new thing. And not in a bad way. If only the rest of the room looked like something vaguely interesting.

At this point, I could go on about how Rick left behind a pad with a list of the pranks he had left behind and Jim found it and how Paige busted him out, but ... well, would anyone care?

Load in!

Rick reveals his master prank! Oooh, what will it be? Coasters with the fake bugs in them. Eek.

Designer Chat Frank. The fireplace looks great. The room looks OK. For a Frank room.

Awesome #1: Paige commenting on Frank's curtains.

The art project is classic Frank crap. But I don't know if the Mary Richards wooden initials on the wall were there before or another Frank creation. They certainly complete the message theme. The message: We the proud owners of frequent shopper cards at Michael's.

Reveal Team Frank: Jim and Linda start with a  few "wows" and a couple "cools." 

Awesome #2: Jim commenting on the room.

They love it.

Paige points out the hideous art project. They don't say anything about it. She's just happy she got a four poster bed.

Designer Chat Edward: The room is not really over the top. But the Moroccan-themed valance looks silly (and off-center). Actually, the room is really very classy and nice. But they're sure to hate the now broken-up room.

The reveal starts outside where Jim left the couple's old furniture on the curb with a sign saying "Free Furniture." Riotous. 

Reveal Team Edward: A moment of silence (never a good sign).

Awesome #3: Rick commenting on the room.

Laura's not too sure. They see the roach coasters. Whee.

Laura's really not sure. She doesn't like that her white mantle was painted brown. She's unhappy. It's not her style.

"I think it's ... different."

And then Paige shows her the "part" of the room for her. And ... she hates the fact that now from her desk she looks at the back of a bookcase instead of the view she used to have.

She's really disappointed. She wants to take it down on Sunday. Much sadness.

Laura: "What were you guys thinking?"

Edward apologizes.

Awesome #4: Rick commenting on the job Edward did.

Jim's just really sad that Laura was so sad. But that means he won! He got the better room! (If by "better" you mean a room more indicative of their lousy taste.)

A truce is declared. Home Depot cards all around!