Project Runway, Season 5 Episode: Transformation (Or, Mama, I'm A Big Girl Now)
September 17, 2008
Previously on Project Runway: The designers were paired up with their previously axed brethren and tasked with creating a design inspired by signs of the zodiac. Both Leanne and Joe got robbed when Jerell was awarded the win for some lunacy with an arrow through the head. Blayne's "conceptual" mess finally got him sent back to the star system he calls home. And after Terri proved that she does not play well with others, she was told to high-tail it back to the 614.
"Someday I will meet a man you won't condemn.
And we will have some kids and you can torture them.
But let me be a star before i take that vow,
'Cause mama, i'm a big girl now!"
And we will have some kids and you can torture them.
But let me be a star before i take that vow,
'Cause mama, i'm a big girl now!"
- "Mama, I'm A Big Girl Now," Hairspray 
Now that the sun-damaged elf Blayne has gone back to Planet SPF-14, it's up to his suitemates, Designers Suede and Joe to mourn his departure. As a token, Blayne has left behind a message: "Team, I will miss you & love youlicious."
And you thought you had heard the last of that, didn't cha?
Suede is worried about his prospects for the finale, considering he just missed being ejected last time. Over in the women's suite (where no one is saying they'll miss Terri), Designer Kenley , who was also in the bottom group, just doesn't understand why people don't understand her brilliance.
Seeing that she came so close to leaving last week, Kenley tells us that her best strategy is to keep on doing exactly what she has been doing and hope that it will result in victory.
I sense that this girl may be related to a certain chief executive who shall remain nameless.
Once at the runway Empress Heidi pops out with her Crown Royale bag for what we'd assume would be this week's model swap/non-swap time-waster. Instead, she introduces some "special ladies."
The designers gulp.
A non-model silhouette appears behind the scrim. It's what we'll call a "regular woman." She walks out and is followed by five others who each take their place on the catwalk behind Heidi.
Immediately everyone freaks out thinking that it's another mom challenge. (See entry, Season 4: Jeffrey Sebelia Makes Angela's Mom Cry.) Funny thing, though: All the women are white. Being a quick-witted bunch, and realizing that it would be a fair assumption that the mothers belonging to Designer Korto and Designer Jerell mothers are not white, the designers conclude that these are not their own mothers.
Heidi then informs the dressmakers that they won't be designing for these middle-aged women. Designer Leanne declares this news "awesome" and she heaves a sigh of relief because didn't want to be making an "old lady outfit." (Oh, Leanne. My sweet Leanne. Don't ever age. People won't ever want to dress you if you age. Deal?)
See, while these women are moms, they aren't the clients. The clients will be ... these women's daughters. Their young, recent-college-graduate daughters. Their young, recent-college-graduate daughters with crazy, two-toned hair.
Ladies and gents, it's the "We Paid A Bundle For This In-Show Advertisement And We Want Our Money's Worth™" Challenge. The task will be to create a complete head-to-toe makeover for these recent graduates (of questionable taste) to prepare them to leave behind the heady days of keg parties and bong hits for life in the "real" world as "independent, professional women."
Needless to say, the "head" in "head-to-toe" will involve the aforementioned sponsor's products which, if used as shown, can make you a supermodel too.
The daughters introduce themselves, which is a pretty standard affair. Except for one thing. The first girl? Anna, the two-tone-haired girl with the square-framed eyeglasses? Her mother, who we're going to call "Nancy," appears to be Edna Turnblad. If the look didn't give it away, the voice sure did.
Heidi uses her Crown Royale bag to pair designers with daughters (and their moms, who will be tagging along in order to provide the episode with some conflict).
The pairings (triad-ings?) are as follows:
Back at the workroom, Tim brings the clients (and their moms) back in, foreseeing that the mothers "no doubt" will have "opinions" about their daughters looks. So, it seems pretty clear that the only reason the mothers have been introduced here is to create some drama in the workroom.
The designers get 30 minutes to caucus with their clients. When Kenley gets to talk to her client, Anna (and her "Big, Blonde And Beautiful" mama), the girl immediately remarks that she got "the cute girl" designer. From space, you can see the sparkle in Kenley's eye as she realizes that she's met a kindred spirit. (The fact that the girl walked in wearing a vintage, Kenley-ish plaid top, of course, had already given Kenley a clue.)
The two quickly get to mastering their evil giggles.
"I really like Anna," says Kenley. "She reminds me of me."
Anna tells Kenley that she has landed a position as a buyer for just the sort of "women's accessories" that Kenley keeps sticking in her hair.
And you're telling me that this button bag thing isn't rigged? Really?
Seeing as Kenley's been handed this gift (from the gods? the producers? Satan?), she decides to go whole hog and make a '40s/'50s outfit for the girl. Not that she wouldn't have made the same dress for any other client, but this time her ever-present post-war "theme" may actually make sense here. Damn, the luck.
The rest of the consultations reveal that ...
The producers are clearly desperate for mama drama. So, they spend a lot of time focusing on Ellie, the mother of Leanne's client, Ellie. The woman does seem a tad opinionated, but for all the close-ups, she really doesn't rise to the level of what you'd expect from a meddling mother in a reality show. She just sounds, well, like your average Barney's shopper.
But you take what you can get, right? (If they wanted whack-job mothers, they could have cast VH-1's "New York" and her Klingon mama.)
Suede's issue is that Suede's client wants pants. But Suede isn't "into" pants. Begrudgingly, Suede figures that Suede will make do.
Here is where I am positive that Terri should have been safe and Suede should have gone home last time. This client was cast for Terri, just like Kenley's was cast for her. Did the judge somehow screw up the master plan last week?
As soon as their meet-and-greets are over with, Tim takes the creative types to Mood where he commands them to "Go! Go! Go!" shopping.
Korto picks out some fabric for a jacket. She thinks it's "burlap-y," but feels she can "make it work."
(Kiddies! Are we keeping track of our ongoing cliché and catchphrase hunt? If you've been paying attention, you should have three ticked off on your Cliffieland Official Reality TV Drinking Game™ scorecards already. ... And you should be feeling a slight buzz.)
Korto declares herself the new "queen of leatha," Joe buys some pinstriped men's suit fabric, Suede finds Suede a purple Pucci-esque print and everyone waves goodbye to an incongruous dog.
Everyone heads back to the Parsons workroom, which now seems to be playing host to a bunch of embarrassing, old photos and biographical details of our designers. (It's not just the large worktables in the room that suddenly have lots of empty space to be filled.)
Basically, we learn that Leanne's always had bangs, Joe likes opening boxes, Jerell got bad skin from a deep fryer and Kenley's always been a "fighter." (She fought off the Nazi menace in "the big one" and she'll take you down, too, bud!)
Tim arrives to let the designers know that the clients will be arriving shortly. And they will have their mothers with them so that we may have tension in our second act.
Jerell girls it up with his client, talking faster than an auctioneer selling off rhinestones to benefit needy drag queens. Suede stresses about pleasing his client but still being Suede. And Joe's client isn't really enthused about wearing a pin-striped suit (probably because she's too young to have ever seen Sue Ellen in Dallas.)
Meanwhile, as Kenley and the Mrs. Turnblad enthuse over the designer's work so far, Jerell points out the obvious: Kenley does make a nice '40s outfit, but can't seem to do much else.
But trouble erupts over at Leanne's table, where her client's mom isn't really crazy about what the designer has made. (You have to feel for Leanne, but it really sounds like your average mother-of-the-bride helping her daughter pick out the right gown.) Still, it's the conflict we need to get us through our next break.
So, we get shots of Leanne figuring how to rework her outfit and Korto and Jerell feeling sorry for all the extra work she will now have to do.
As the day ends, Suede decides that, since he doesn't "do" pants, he'll just talk his client into wearing a dress instead, since it's more "Suede" (and less "photographer's assistant.")
Filling in for the departed Blayne and Stella, replacement improv comic Jerell and Kenley perform a brief sketch involving a rival designer, a pocket square and Nancy Reagan. "Where's your pocket square?!" shrieks the long-lost Andrews Sister.
Joe smiles in the workroom, but in his interview fights calling Jerell an "asshole."
The next morning, Tim pops back in again and sends the clients back in as well, only this time without their mothers. (It seems they didn't provide enough tension.)
The clients seem to like what they see, with Leanne's client loving the changes the designer made and Suede's client declaring the dress "awesome."
Tim gathers everyone around for a brief infomercial from the people who are paying for this clambake. They will be creating new hairstyles for the young ladies and we need to see how these clearly superior products provide luster, color and shine to hair that had been dull, flat and lifeless only moments ago.
As a little doggie biscuit to get the designers to sit still for this, they are told that the winning look will be featured on the pages of the magazine that's underwriting this shindig.
Afterwards, it's time for Tim's "work, work, work"s and "go, go, go"s.
Over at the Dimension of Suede, Tim is worried about the designer's workmanship. It's sloppy. And cockeyed. And uneven. But it's certainly not "wackadoodle."
Moving on to Joe, Tim seems stumped as to why Joe would be making a lawyer-like suit for a graphic designer. Joe doesn't seem to think that what she'll be doing in the suit matters. Tim says it's "everything." Joe says he's "not concerned" about Tim's always-prescient critique. Cue the music of doom.
Jerell, "like seriously" loves his outfit. Without resorting to lingo more appropriate to Moon Unit Zappa, Tim does too.
Tim goes up to Kenley and insists: "Talk to me." He likes her vintage-inspired look and after praising the design, gives her a suggestion about the toile at the hem of her dress. Kenley thinks Tim can stick it.
"He wanted me to think about the toile showing," she tells is. "He was telling me that it might be OK if none of that shows. I'm not going to listen to that. I never really change anything for Tim."
OK, now I'm convinced. This chick has to be at least a Rumsfeld, right?
Later, Joe, father of two, chats with Korto, mother of one, about the mother-daughter bond. (Ed: Here, for the second time this episode I notice that Joe has a major problem with grammar.)
"This whole challenge, you never gonna 'gree for both of 'em to agree," says Joe, "'cause if the mother likes it, the daughter isn't gonna like it."
See?
Now, since Joe's been feeling rather homesick, the producers make him a deal: If he's willing to shill for yet another sponsor (this time it's a wireless service provider and handset manufacturer), they'll let him talk to his kids for five minutes. But he must do so on this very special handset with a prominent, white logo which must remain center screen at all times. If you really loved your kids, you'd be using our product already!
Day Two ends and our merry stitchers return to the Atlas. The guys settle down and Suede discusses how he's much more comfortable making a dress instead of pants. And over in the girls' suite, the women opine that Suede's client will look like the late Tejano music icon Selena, with her early '90s flared sleeves.
At that, Kenley takes full-bore aim at Suede's design skills.
"That's why he's not a good designer," chirps the girl with one look. "'Cause he can't interpret his style into different looks. ... I think that Suede is a poseur."
Flashes of cookware run though my mind. Mostly, pots and kettles.
Next, we're back in the workroom on the day of the runway show for a few shots of designers praising their own work and slamming everyone else's before we head out into Salon O'Sponsor for hair and makeup, where we get to see Leanne's client thrill that her hair is "awesome."
On the runway, Mistress Heidi of the Velvet recaps the challenge and introduces the judges, Quipmaster General Michael Kors, famed job-hopper Nina Garcia and this week's guest judge, fashion designer Cynthia Rowley (who was responsible for the gawdawful outfits worn by the models on last season's Shear Genius).
Let's start the show.
Heidi sends the moms away and begins the inquisition. During the questioning, we learn that ...
Heidi sends away the designers so the judges can make bitchy comments in private.
They explain that the reason they like Jerell's look is, at least in part, the "transformation" aspect, which suggests to me that the "before" and "after" shots are playing a role here. They are willing to praise Kenley's' retro look this time because it was appropriate to the girl. And they adored Korto's jacket.
As for the worst, the judges are scathing towards Suede's design and feel Leanne's wasn't modern enough (?!?). And Kors pulls out another quip for the books when he calls Joe's '80s, clichéd look, "Becky Home Ec-y."
The designers are called back out.
Korto is ... in and sent back. (What? Oh, grrrr.)
And the winner of the challenge is ... Jerell. He'll get the spread in SponsorMag.
"And the fact that it's my second win, hell yeah!"
Mega-Grrrr!
Well, at least it wasn't The Designer Most Likely To Outfit Mildred Pierce.
Leanne is in. Whew.
Heidi shames Suede and Joe by exposing their man parts, pointing and laughing. Once that ritual is complete, she intones ...
"Joe ... you're out."
Suede forgoes the finger-kiss and heads back so the straight guy can peck the Victoria's Secret model on the cheek.
Joe leaves us with a "charming" story about his kids and tells us that he doesn't deserve to leave.
He makes his goodbyes and departs, leaving everyone sensing a sudden lack of douchiness in the air.
Next time on Project Runway: Inexplicably, the eloquent Tim loses his command of grammar and predicts the "most unique" runway show ever. Jerell considers sabotaging Suede. Kenley is sarcastic towards Master Tim. Korto figures she'll let Kenley dig her own grave. And the Ladies (and gents) (still) Love Cool James!
Now that the sun-damaged elf Blayne has gone back to Planet SPF-14, it's up to his suitemates, Designers Suede and Joe to mourn his departure. As a token, Blayne has left behind a message: "Team, I will miss you & love youlicious."
And you thought you had heard the last of that, didn't cha?
Suede is worried about his prospects for the finale, considering he just missed being ejected last time. Over in the women's suite (where no one is saying they'll miss Terri), Designer Kenley , who was also in the bottom group, just doesn't understand why people don't understand her brilliance.
Seeing that she came so close to leaving last week, Kenley tells us that her best strategy is to keep on doing exactly what she has been doing and hope that it will result in victory.
I sense that this girl may be related to a certain chief executive who shall remain nameless.
Once at the runway Empress Heidi pops out with her Crown Royale bag for what we'd assume would be this week's model swap/non-swap time-waster. Instead, she introduces some "special ladies."
The designers gulp.
A non-model silhouette appears behind the scrim. It's what we'll call a "regular woman." She walks out and is followed by five others who each take their place on the catwalk behind Heidi.
Immediately everyone freaks out thinking that it's another mom challenge. (See entry, Season 4: Jeffrey Sebelia Makes Angela's Mom Cry.) Funny thing, though: All the women are white. Being a quick-witted bunch, and realizing that it would be a fair assumption that the mothers belonging to Designer Korto and Designer Jerell mothers are not white, the designers conclude that these are not their own mothers.
Heidi then informs the dressmakers that they won't be designing for these middle-aged women. Designer Leanne declares this news "awesome" and she heaves a sigh of relief because didn't want to be making an "old lady outfit." (Oh, Leanne. My sweet Leanne. Don't ever age. People won't ever want to dress you if you age. Deal?)
See, while these women are moms, they aren't the clients. The clients will be ... these women's daughters. Their young, recent-college-graduate daughters. Their young, recent-college-graduate daughters with crazy, two-toned hair.
The Challenge
Ladies and gents, it's the "We Paid A Bundle For This In-Show Advertisement And We Want Our Money's Worth™" Challenge. The task will be to create a complete head-to-toe makeover for these recent graduates (of questionable taste) to prepare them to leave behind the heady days of keg parties and bong hits for life in the "real" world as "independent, professional women."
Needless to say, the "head" in "head-to-toe" will involve the aforementioned sponsor's products which, if used as shown, can make you a supermodel too.
The daughters introduce themselves, which is a pretty standard affair. Except for one thing. The first girl? Anna, the two-tone-haired girl with the square-framed eyeglasses? Her mother, who we're going to call "Nancy," appears to be Edna Turnblad. If the look didn't give it away, the voice sure did.
Heidi uses her Crown Royale bag to pair designers with daughters (and their moms, who will be tagging along in order to provide the episode with some conflict).
The pairings (triad-ings?) are as follows:
- Kenley gets Anna (and her mom, whose diet pill may be wearing off).
- Korto is matched with a lovely young lady named Megan (and her mom Amy).
- Joe will be working with a lass named Laura (and her mom Janet).
- Leanne will be designing for a could-be-mistaken-for-a-high-school-junior girl named Holly (and her mom Ellie).
- Suede gets a another unfortunate hair girl, this one named Avital (and her mom Yaffa).
- Jerell will be working with the last of the two-toned gals, a waif named Caitlin (and her mom Ellen).
Back at the workroom, Tim brings the clients (and their moms) back in, foreseeing that the mothers "no doubt" will have "opinions" about their daughters looks. So, it seems pretty clear that the only reason the mothers have been introduced here is to create some drama in the workroom.
The designers get 30 minutes to caucus with their clients. When Kenley gets to talk to her client, Anna (and her "Big, Blonde And Beautiful" mama), the girl immediately remarks that she got "the cute girl" designer. From space, you can see the sparkle in Kenley's eye as she realizes that she's met a kindred spirit. (The fact that the girl walked in wearing a vintage, Kenley-ish plaid top, of course, had already given Kenley a clue.)
The two quickly get to mastering their evil giggles.
"I really like Anna," says Kenley. "She reminds me of me."
Anna tells Kenley that she has landed a position as a buyer for just the sort of "women's accessories" that Kenley keeps sticking in her hair.
And you're telling me that this button bag thing isn't rigged? Really?
Seeing as Kenley's been handed this gift (from the gods? the producers? Satan?), she decides to go whole hog and make a '40s/'50s outfit for the girl. Not that she wouldn't have made the same dress for any other client, but this time her ever-present post-war "theme" may actually make sense here. Damn, the luck.
The rest of the consultations reveal that ...
- Korto's client, Megan, is transitioning to post-graduate work (which is pretty generic);
- Jerell's client, Caitlin is looking to be an artist's assistant;
- Leanne's charge, Holly, will be a teacher, which is tricky, since she looks like the prettiest girl in fifth period Spanish;
- Suede's gal, Avital, wants to be a photographer's assistant and needs an outfit she can wear on interviews, preferably involving pants; and
- Joe's pairing, Laura, is an aspiring graphic designer (which Joe thinks means that she needs to be wearing a suit).
The producers are clearly desperate for mama drama. So, they spend a lot of time focusing on Ellie, the mother of Leanne's client, Ellie. The woman does seem a tad opinionated, but for all the close-ups, she really doesn't rise to the level of what you'd expect from a meddling mother in a reality show. She just sounds, well, like your average Barney's shopper.
But you take what you can get, right? (If they wanted whack-job mothers, they could have cast VH-1's "New York" and her Klingon mama.)
Suede's issue is that Suede's client wants pants. But Suede isn't "into" pants. Begrudgingly, Suede figures that Suede will make do.
Here is where I am positive that Terri should have been safe and Suede should have gone home last time. This client was cast for Terri, just like Kenley's was cast for her. Did the judge somehow screw up the master plan last week?
As soon as their meet-and-greets are over with, Tim takes the creative types to Mood where he commands them to "Go! Go! Go!" shopping.
Korto picks out some fabric for a jacket. She thinks it's "burlap-y," but feels she can "make it work."
(Kiddies! Are we keeping track of our ongoing cliché and catchphrase hunt? If you've been paying attention, you should have three ticked off on your Cliffieland Official Reality TV Drinking Game™ scorecards already. ... And you should be feeling a slight buzz.)
Korto declares herself the new "queen of leatha," Joe buys some pinstriped men's suit fabric, Suede finds Suede a purple Pucci-esque print and everyone waves goodbye to an incongruous dog.
Everyone heads back to the Parsons workroom, which now seems to be playing host to a bunch of embarrassing, old photos and biographical details of our designers. (It's not just the large worktables in the room that suddenly have lots of empty space to be filled.)
Basically, we learn that Leanne's always had bangs, Joe likes opening boxes, Jerell got bad skin from a deep fryer and Kenley's always been a "fighter." (She fought off the Nazi menace in "the big one" and she'll take you down, too, bud!)
Tim arrives to let the designers know that the clients will be arriving shortly. And they will have their mothers with them so that we may have tension in our second act.
Jerell girls it up with his client, talking faster than an auctioneer selling off rhinestones to benefit needy drag queens. Suede stresses about pleasing his client but still being Suede. And Joe's client isn't really enthused about wearing a pin-striped suit (probably because she's too young to have ever seen Sue Ellen in Dallas.)
Meanwhile, as Kenley and the Mrs. Turnblad enthuse over the designer's work so far, Jerell points out the obvious: Kenley does make a nice '40s outfit, but can't seem to do much else.
But trouble erupts over at Leanne's table, where her client's mom isn't really crazy about what the designer has made. (You have to feel for Leanne, but it really sounds like your average mother-of-the-bride helping her daughter pick out the right gown.) Still, it's the conflict we need to get us through our next break.
So, we get shots of Leanne figuring how to rework her outfit and Korto and Jerell feeling sorry for all the extra work she will now have to do.
As the day ends, Suede decides that, since he doesn't "do" pants, he'll just talk his client into wearing a dress instead, since it's more "Suede" (and less "photographer's assistant.")
Filling in for the departed Blayne and Stella, replacement improv comic Jerell and Kenley perform a brief sketch involving a rival designer, a pocket square and Nancy Reagan. "Where's your pocket square?!" shrieks the long-lost Andrews Sister.
Joe smiles in the workroom, but in his interview fights calling Jerell an "asshole."
The next morning, Tim pops back in again and sends the clients back in as well, only this time without their mothers. (It seems they didn't provide enough tension.)
The clients seem to like what they see, with Leanne's client loving the changes the designer made and Suede's client declaring the dress "awesome."
Tim gathers everyone around for a brief infomercial from the people who are paying for this clambake. They will be creating new hairstyles for the young ladies and we need to see how these clearly superior products provide luster, color and shine to hair that had been dull, flat and lifeless only moments ago.
As a little doggie biscuit to get the designers to sit still for this, they are told that the winning look will be featured on the pages of the magazine that's underwriting this shindig.
Afterwards, it's time for Tim's "work, work, work"s and "go, go, go"s.
Over at the Dimension of Suede, Tim is worried about the designer's workmanship. It's sloppy. And cockeyed. And uneven. But it's certainly not "wackadoodle."
Moving on to Joe, Tim seems stumped as to why Joe would be making a lawyer-like suit for a graphic designer. Joe doesn't seem to think that what she'll be doing in the suit matters. Tim says it's "everything." Joe says he's "not concerned" about Tim's always-prescient critique. Cue the music of doom.
Jerell, "like seriously" loves his outfit. Without resorting to lingo more appropriate to Moon Unit Zappa, Tim does too.
Tim goes up to Kenley and insists: "Talk to me." He likes her vintage-inspired look and after praising the design, gives her a suggestion about the toile at the hem of her dress. Kenley thinks Tim can stick it.
"He wanted me to think about the toile showing," she tells is. "He was telling me that it might be OK if none of that shows. I'm not going to listen to that. I never really change anything for Tim."
OK, now I'm convinced. This chick has to be at least a Rumsfeld, right?
Later, Joe, father of two, chats with Korto, mother of one, about the mother-daughter bond. (Ed: Here, for the second time this episode I notice that Joe has a major problem with grammar.)
"This whole challenge, you never gonna 'gree for both of 'em to agree," says Joe, "'cause if the mother likes it, the daughter isn't gonna like it."
See?
Now, since Joe's been feeling rather homesick, the producers make him a deal: If he's willing to shill for yet another sponsor (this time it's a wireless service provider and handset manufacturer), they'll let him talk to his kids for five minutes. But he must do so on this very special handset with a prominent, white logo which must remain center screen at all times. If you really loved your kids, you'd be using our product already!
Day Two ends and our merry stitchers return to the Atlas. The guys settle down and Suede discusses how he's much more comfortable making a dress instead of pants. And over in the girls' suite, the women opine that Suede's client will look like the late Tejano music icon Selena, with her early '90s flared sleeves.
At that, Kenley takes full-bore aim at Suede's design skills.
"That's why he's not a good designer," chirps the girl with one look. "'Cause he can't interpret his style into different looks. ... I think that Suede is a poseur."
Flashes of cookware run though my mind. Mostly, pots and kettles.
Next, we're back in the workroom on the day of the runway show for a few shots of designers praising their own work and slamming everyone else's before we head out into Salon O'Sponsor for hair and makeup, where we get to see Leanne's client thrill that her hair is "awesome."
On the runway, Mistress Heidi of the Velvet recaps the challenge and introduces the judges, Quipmaster General Michael Kors, famed job-hopper Nina Garcia and this week's guest judge, fashion designer Cynthia Rowley (who was responsible for the gawdawful outfits worn by the models on last season's Shear Genius).
Let's start the show.
Runway Show
- Joe (Client: Laura, Graphic Designer): I'd say Working Girl, but you thought it already, didn't 'cha? Now placing bets on how soon before those words come out of Michael Kors' little orange mouth. ... Betting windows are now closed. And if the ColecoVision era suit wasn't bad enough, the blouse he's made looks like it was sewn blindfolded.
- Leanne (Client: Holly, Elementary School Teacher): Damnit, it's pretty! A cute, deep violet party dress topped with a very Leanne short jacket, I feel it's great. The husband, however, says it's all wrong for a schoolteacher. ... Fine. Humph.
- Jerrel (Client: Caitlin, Artist's Assistant): I do not care for this. And I'm pretty sure everyone else will. Maybe it's the fact that Jerell has gone back for the exact same color and fabric he's used at least three times before. Or maybe it's the fact he annoys the hell out of me. But this simple, high-waited pencil skirt with cardigan in that same brownish-gold palate does not make me smile. And when Jerell pops off with "Ta dah! I did exactly what I set out to do," I want to feed him that Fruit Of The Loom "grape guy" costume he's wearing on his head this week.
- Korto (Client: Megan, Biologist): I love this. It's a funky, modern dress in a snazzy green botanical print with a works-even-though-it-shouldn't burlap-colored modern jacket. It's perfect for a professional woman in her early 20s. I adore it and it deserves to win.
- Suede (Client: Avital, Photographer): To be honest, when I saw this come down the runway, with the girl working the outfit like it's the greatest thing ever, I was almost thinking it would end up winning. I may have been distracted by the wild print on the dress, the girl's rockin' bod, the way she threw off that jacket or the way her hair looks so great having been treated with those miraculous products from our show's sponsors.
- Kenley (Client: Kenley II: Electric Boogaloo): Grrr. It's a Kenley dress. A floral, red-tinted '40s-reminiscent dress topped with a maroon vest and a leather belt to make the vest look more feminine. Kenley may have stolen it out of her own closet. The girl is obviously happy and so is her mom, the newest spokemodel for Mr. Pinky's Hefty Hideaway.
Heidi sends the moms away and begins the inquisition. During the questioning, we learn that ...
- Kenley can actually squeeze out an extra dose of pretense by pulling out her little girl voice and coy pose for the judges.
- The judges all have eyes and can see that Kenley's client is indeed her doppelgänger.
- Kenley can bite her tongue if she senses the criticism she is about to receive is actually praise.
- Joe's daughters can look forward to some serious fights over "appropriate" fashion with dad in years to come.
- Kenley 1 and Kenley 2 both have mastery of the dickish-giggle-as-castration-device.
- The judges love Korto's design, leaving no question that it deserves the win.
- The judges love Leanne's dress once the jacket comes off, but think elementary school teachers need to dress for playing on the floor.
- The judges like Jerell's look for reasons that escape me.
- After seeing so many jackets, the judges have gotten bored.
- And Nina can make Suede go "ouch" with what she doesn't say.
Heidi sends away the designers so the judges can make bitchy comments in private.
They explain that the reason they like Jerell's look is, at least in part, the "transformation" aspect, which suggests to me that the "before" and "after" shots are playing a role here. They are willing to praise Kenley's' retro look this time because it was appropriate to the girl. And they adored Korto's jacket.
As for the worst, the judges are scathing towards Suede's design and feel Leanne's wasn't modern enough (?!?). And Kors pulls out another quip for the books when he calls Joe's '80s, clichéd look, "Becky Home Ec-y."
The designers are called back out.
Korto is ... in and sent back. (What? Oh, grrrr.)
And the winner of the challenge is ... Jerell. He'll get the spread in SponsorMag.
"And the fact that it's my second win, hell yeah!"
Mega-Grrrr!
Well, at least it wasn't The Designer Most Likely To Outfit Mildred Pierce.
Leanne is in. Whew.
Heidi shames Suede and Joe by exposing their man parts, pointing and laughing. Once that ritual is complete, she intones ...
"Joe ... you're out."
Suede forgoes the finger-kiss and heads back so the straight guy can peck the Victoria's Secret model on the cheek.
Joe leaves us with a "charming" story about his kids and tells us that he doesn't deserve to leave.
He makes his goodbyes and departs, leaving everyone sensing a sudden lack of douchiness in the air.
Next time on Project Runway: Inexplicably, the eloquent Tim loses his command of grammar and predicts the "most unique" runway show ever. Jerell considers sabotaging Suede. Kenley is sarcastic towards Master Tim. Korto figures she'll let Kenley dig her own grave. And the Ladies (and gents) (still) Love Cool James!
4 comments:
Oh, Divine was much prettier than Anna's Mom! :)
Great recap, as ever!
xoxoxo
K
again, another fabu recap! you are clever, hilarious, and witty. and love the snark!
(i can't wait for epi11 & ll cool j!!!)
A.) Thanks for the comments, ladies! So appreciate them.
b.) In the odd case that you may see this, I have to apologize for having accidentally published an earlier draft of this with some really strange mistakes. (I'm such a total mess when I'm trying to get out of the house!)
Love ya!
P.S. Yeah, LL Cool J still rocks the bells, darlin'!
"My diet pill is wearing off."
Divine recap!
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