Project Runway, Season 5: Nature Calls (Or, More Appropriately, Nature Called)

Project Runway, Season 5 
Episode: Nature Calls (Or, More Appropriately, Nature Called)
October 1, 2008

Previously On Project Runway: Our intrepid designers had to design outfits for each other based on an assigned musical genre. Leanne made a country-inspired outfit for Korto and was safe. Jerell made Kenley into a pop princess and was edged out for the win by Korto's punk look for Suede. Kenley further endeared herself to all of America by being downright evil towards Tim Gunn. And, on the runway, the designer hip-hop look she made for Leanne (which everyone else in the world thought was exactly 0% hip-hop) got slammed for its hideous construction. But it was the dull rock & roll-inspired look Suede made for Jerell that got him booted.

---

Perhaps you're asking why this is so late. Or maybe you're curious as to why it's so short. Well, as Kenley would say, "Bite me." (I'm paraphrasing, of course.)

But seriously, I was out of town visiting family and was devoid of cable (which some would say is a good thing for me.) Also, when the family you're visiting is in Puerto Rico, this ...

... is pretty much going to win out over barging into someone's house at 9 p.m. AST to watch a TV show for blogging purposes.

So ... here's this week's express-o Project Runway recap:

Everyone was mad Suede got the hook, since everyone hates Designer Kenley (Personal motto: "Does this eye-roll make it seem like I hate you? Because I'm trying to hide the fact ... the fact that I hate you."). Designer Jerell (Fun Fact: Would have actually been a model in this competition had the designing thing not panned out) has resorted to conversing with fruit and (craftily camouflaged) Aunt Jemima™ bottles now that the other fruit (and Joe) are gone.

No one swaps models, Tim takes everyone on a field trip to an actual field and the gang gets a brief infomercial from the sponsoriffic makeup line. Once the plug is done, the four remaining stitchers set about taking pictures of flowers and plants at the New York Botanical Garden, one of which must serve as the inspiration for an evening gown.

They all go to Mood where Kenley leaves behind a bag of tulle. When they get back to the workroom, the pin-up wannabe (who now sports an ever-growing stress blemish) is surprised no one wants to help her by handing over their extra fabric.

Seeing as she's a "fighter," Kenley perseveres. The entire matter becomes irrelevant when Tim (proving he's a real good egg) lets her go back and fetch the forgotten bag.

During the requisite "morning of day two" footage of the designers at the Atlas, I am again emotionally scarred after being subjected to footage of Jerell shirtless. I view most of the rest of the show through the holes in a blanket for fear of having to see that again.

For two days, Kenley is shunned and the "fighter" shuns right back at 'em all, by telling us that everyone else always offers the same thing and ignoring the fact that she's probably guiltier than anyone else on that front.

On the runway, it's clear that the stress of wanting to make it to the final three has made everyone suffer. (Well, more than having to be in the same room with Kenley would make anyone suffer.) This primarily shows in the less-than-perfect construction of most of the outfits.

Taking inspiration from some purple flowers (which he insisted were roses), Jerell made a dress which probably would have left his model's breasts fully exposed is she had breasts. It has an unusual silhouette which I'm sure will be a hit with everyone ... well, everyone else. (Because, as with pretty much everything else he does, I simply don't care for it.)

Designer Leanne ("The Fashion Assassin ... of a model's hopes and dreams.") takes inspiration from a lavender plant and makes a pleasant lavender-colored dress with her signature rouching. But the last-minute addition of a bolt of blue in the back makes the judges question her judgment.

Still, despite those two's problems, they are both safe, with Jerell being the winner of the challenge.

Designer Korto (Today's theme: "Have I mentioned that I have a kid?") is in deep water for having made a peach-colored gown which, while somewhat modern in the front, is a rather clichéd pageant/bridal gown in the back.

But that all takes a back seat to little-ray-of-sunshine Kenley, who goes full-tilt boogie into her own little world where she's completely right and absolutely anyone who disagrees is a complete moron. (She tries to explain that this antisocial behavior is related to having grown up on a tug boat.)

She's made a dress which was inspired by a purple plant with a scaly texture. When people tell her that it looks reptilian, she thinks that's a good thing. When the judges tell her it's clichéd, she tells them they don't know anything about fashion. When they tell her she's being defensive and argumentative, she gets defensive and argues that she's not.

And, though it all, no one says that the gown makes the woman look like a skinnier version of Ursula in The Little Mermaid.

Update: Ye have asked for a side-by-side and so shall ye receive.





Finally, the judges ask each of the designers which two contestants should join him or her in the final three. Jerell, Korto and Leanne agree that they should be the final three finalists.

Kenley trots the phrase "under the bus" up and down the runway and is mad that she can't pick herself to the final three all by herself. She finally settles on leaving Korto out, which pisses off Korto no end.

After quick discussions about Kenley's shitty attitude, the judges (who must just now be realizing that the earth is round) declare their verdict: All four designers will be "going home," home to make collections for Fashion Week, that is. (As if it were news to these four -- and the two previously eliminated designers -- that they'd be making at least "decoy" collections for the Bryant Park show.)

Yep. Just like last season.

With one non-Botoxed wrinkle.

Making this entire challenge completely worthless, all four designers will have to show off a look (or looks) when they make it back to New York where any one of the four could be eliminated from consideration for the prize (and will be treated by the cameras as if they didn't show at all).

So, joy of joys, we'll get to see more Kenley. And, for that, we're all ... grateful? enraged? constipated?

Next Time On Project Runway: Part one of the finale where we see Tim will fill each designer in on the progress of  Weinsteins v. Bravo.