Project Runway: YOU LIE!

Project Runway: Season Six
Episode: YOU LIE!
September 17, 2009

Previously on Project Runway: In a stunning departure from the norm, the designers had to design dresses for their models. We learned that the models' taste is all in their mouths. Johnny made a bridesmaid dress. Althea made a three-piece suit that the judges loved and the designers hated. Althea won, Johnny almost lost and poor Qrystil was sent to the great spellcheck in the sky.

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OK, if you've been paying any attention, you know I am having serious time issues. And this week, it's been exacerbated by a vacation. So here's what you get.


So, the morning after the last elimination once again we get to see these folks express dismay that one designer is sent home each week. Heidi announced that the challenge will be "in black and white"

Naturally, the cast thought this would have something to do with old Hollywood.

Tim greeted the designers at the printing plant of the Los Angeles Times.

Paper. The challenge will be to make dresses from newspaper.

Finally, a use for newspapers. Surely, this will keep them from going out of business now.

The gang grab giant stacks of newsprint, bravely daring to get that icky stuff all over their hands, and go to work.

Everyone gamely attempts to make their paper dresses. Gordana thinks this would be a good time to make two dresses, one which works for the challenge and one that is a political statement, calling for the election of this John Kerry guy who at the time of this filming was running for President. Tim suggests that she should just work on making a good dress and leave the politics out of it. Besides, how could this Kerry guy not win?

Irina is a bit stumped until Tim arrives and gives her the idea that a paper raincoat could work. She takes the idea and makes a rather elaborate trench coat with a '20s feel with crumpled paper taking the place of a fur collar and cuffs.

But the drama is all about Johnny. At the start of the challenge, the methy designer (sorry, formerly methy designer) has an idea involving orgami birds holding up a horrible wet mess of red paper which we'll call a "dress."

Tim arrives and declares it awful. The other designers see this and laugh heartily. After that, Johnny crumples up his mess and starts again, this time opting to create a lazy artsy-crafty mini-dress which is so bad I could imagine making it myself.

But once the workday is over, we see that Johnny has fabricated a story in his own mind about how some previously unseen steamer ruined his first dress and that's what made him toss it out. And it's the same magical steamer that ate his brain and made him metaphorically sit on his hands and work on a crossword puzzle instead.

Come the runway show, we see that Michael Kors and Nina Garcia are still M.I.A. and we're saddled with lame replacement judges. And Eva Longoria (Parker, for now). Oh, and star of The Cut, Tommy Hilfiger.

Yeah, I said it. I watched The Cut. And I lived to tell the tale.

Once we see the dresses, we see that, for the most part, the outfits are actually pretty damn cool.

The top three are Irina for her novel paper trench coat, Althea for a cute "print" made from a repeated image of a building used to make a cocktail dress, and Christopher for his dramatic evening gown which has a hard top and a soft feather-like newsprint bottom.

But the winner is Irina, who feels it's about damn time.

As for the losers, the bottom three are Johnny with his godawful crap dress, Nicolas for his "punk" dress which replacement judge lady thinks looks like a cockroach, and Gordana for having the nerve to make a dress which is deemed "wearable."

When the judges question Johnny, he repeats his bullshit story about the mystery steamer. And Nicolas, knowing the story is bullshit, calls him out on this. Johnny The Liar is terribly offended at this "under the bus" throwing and calls Nicolas a "jerk."

And the judges really don't know what to make of any of this.

When they deliberate, the judges aren't too sure about the veracity of Johnny's flimsy story. And Ms. Longoria (Parker, for now) thinks that she should pull out a painful pun about her backside being her best "asset" and dishes that Tommy "doesn't iron."

Finally, the wait is over. And Johnny is out.

He acts like he's chagrined, but (on the Models show) we see that he's just pissed that Nicolas called him out.

But it isn't until after he's sent away that the drama really happens when Tim joins the designers again and says how stunned he was by Johnny's "fiction."

Oh, my. ... I don't think even the most Vincent Libretti of shitty designers ever got Tim that pissed.

It makes me wish I had time to really get into this.

Alas.