Project Runway: Am I Blue? Am I Blue? Aren’t These Tears In My Eyes Telling You?

Project Runway: Season Six
Episode: Am I Blue? Am I Blue? Aren’t These Tears In My Eyes Telling You?
October 1, 2009

Previously on Project Runway: We all went to the movies. I believe it was called In Search Of Michael And Nina. It was a daring tale about eleven fashion designers on a mission to cross the untamed West to search out two judges who have been kidnapped by a pair of Weinsteins. Sadly, along the way Ra’mon was lost when he was set upon by an angry band of Apostrophes.

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Hi folks! Yes, we’re still in “needing to get a life” mode. Plus, this season is still mired in the these-folks-are-awfully-talented-but-have-a-serious-lack-of-wacky-drama mode. Which makes the Models Of The Runway show (actually) more entertaining than the primary focus on the designers.

Hence, you get the Cliff-thru. I hope you enjoy it.

Now that we’re down to a reasonable number of designers, it would be a good idea to recap who’s still in the game. We have ...

• Althea “The Fifty-Foot Dressmaker” Harper,

• Carol Hannah “Raccoon Pixie” Whitfield,

• Shirin “Persian Pixie” Askari,

• Christopher “This Is My Dream” Straub,

• Gordana “Get Moose And Squirrel” Gelhausen,

• Irina “No, From The Other Georgia” Shabayeva,

• Logan “Flat Affect” Neitzel,

• Louise “Is The New” Black,

• Nicolas “Fun As An Ingrown Cuticle” Putvinski, and

• Rodney “Epperson” Badu.

Morning. The ladies eat cereal and are just stumped on how it is that people keep disappearing each week. (In fact, I wonder if they thought perhaps they were auditioning for roles in Harper’s Island. They would have done quite well there.)

As for the gents, they’re all atwitter that they’re getting a new roomie. Since Ra’mon is gone (and Logan has seemingly cursed all his roommates away), the straight boy has to move in with the rest of the gang.

(Something to note here. Across, what, 32 weeks so far, folks -- including the models -- have repeatedly referred to Logan as “the only straight guy” here. But since Epperson is straight too, it just makes you wonder how sexlessly he’s viewed by everyone. Is it an age thing? a married thing? or a race thing? Just curious.)

Once Logan unpacks his t-shirts, jeans, headgear and facial expression, it’s off to the runway.

There (on last week’s Models show) we see that the models are rocked to their footie socks when they’re informed that the designers have to each pick new models. This leaves the insane Fatima Fatma as the last model on the runway when Louise is forced to pick Bangy as her model, since she worked with the wacky Nigerian last time.

Note: I flatly refuse to learn these models’ names. I know Fatma, The Other One Fatma Hates, Bangy and the rest of ‘em. Deal with it.

Once that’s done (and we’re back in this week’s Project Runway episode), Mistress Heidi tells the designers that their challenge will have to do with color.

At this point, there is a legal requirement that one contestant tell us that “when Heidi said (what she said) I thought, ‘Oh my god, are we going to be working with (some insane thing not at all connected to what they really will be using).’ “

This time, it’s Shirin’s turn to provide the odd speculation. She pictures multi-colored parachutes.

Thank you, Shirin. You may join the other designers now.

Back in the workroom, Tim introduces some woman from the sponsor company. Blah, blah, blah.

Blue. The challenge is to make two dresses that use blue predominantly. And the winner will get to make a “holiday” dress which will be sold in the sponsor department store ... just in time for the 1998 holiday season!

Did I mention that this was taped back when Seinfeld was still on the air?

And since this is such a grand reward, there will be no immunity for the winner of this challenge.

The designers get a few minutes to peruse their sponsoriffic dossier and come up with two looks to pitch to the sponsor lady. From the ten remaining designers, she will pick five team leaders. Afterward, the five team leaders will pick their teammates.

They each pitch their visions and it is really hard to tell which ideas this lady really likes and which she doesn’t.

In the end, she picks as team leaders: Louise, Irina, Christopher, Carol Hannah and Althea.

Out comes the button bag and the leaders pick their teammates.

• Christopher picks Epperson.

• Althea picks Logan.

• Louise (defying all reason) picks Nicolas.

• Irina totally wusses out and lets the two remaining designers choose who gets to work with her. Gordana decides for Irina.

• Which leaves Carol Hannah working with Shirin.

They zip off to Mood. (Or, as we’ve learned since, the Mood “Annex,” since the paparazzi was staking out Mood.) There, the teams have a more limited selection of fabrics and we see a few of them frustrated that they’re not finding exactly what they were seeking.

Back in the workroom, the teams get to sewing.

Christopher is happy to be working with Epperson and his enormous turban. Althea and Logan struggle to keep the camera crew awake. Gordana and Irina have a bit of a struggle, since Irina is more comfortable working on her own.

And Nicolas hates ruffles.

But he doesn’t need to tell this to Louise, whose dresses are entirely focused on them.

He’ll tell us though.

He really hates ruffles.

Tim pops in to critique. And he seems pretty enthused about all of the designs, actually.

He expresses a concern about the “textiles” Team Chisperson is using, but he thinks they could well be on the way to “reinventing” something. And Irina and Gordana seem destined for the bottom two the way they each have different answers to specific questions from The Gunn.

Speaking of fakeouts …

Louise makes bird sounds! Brrrrr! Chirrrrrrp!

Fakeout scene over!

As the runway show approaches, it seems clear that Team Louicolas won’t have time to finish and will have to send a half-baked pair of dresses down the runway.

And why again did she pick the one person for her team who could not be eliminated (owing to his undeserved win in the previous week’s challenge)?

When it’s time for the Runway show, we see that the production bloodhounds managed to locate Michael Kors and have brought him back to judge the show. (He may be only half spray-tanned, but when you’re hiding from Lifetime TV in an Amish village your skin pigmentation options are limited.)

Of course, Nina is still at large. I don’t know when exactly this was filmed, but I suspect that Nina was busy stocking up on supplies for the fallout from the Y2K bug.

The dresses come down the runway and, to my mind, they’re all OK. Nothing really stunned me. Of all the outfits, though, I was most impressed with Team Chrisperon’s striped shirt dress. And, aside from the leggings (I may hate them as much as Tim Gunn does), their blue-green disco dress was OK as well.

But the two looks really didn’t seem to go together at all.

As for the others, though, I may have been napping since they didn’t really register.

Team Althogan made another suit, though it seemed to be a tad better made than the one that won Althea a challenge a few weeks back. I can’t say I even remember the other dress they made.

When Heidi sends them away, though, it’s clear that the other four teams are the top and bottom two.

Next, Heidi sends away Teams Chrisperson and Louicolas as the bottom two. (Color me shocked.)

Heidi, Michael and the two placeholders enthuse over Irina’s custom-made pattern sundress (and seem to like the top of the Gordana-made accompanying number).

As for Team Carol Shirinnah, the judges like the tops on both dresses. Aside from one having a waist somewhere around the model’s scapula, I can’t really remember much about either one.

Then they question the bottom teams. It’s … well, it’s not pretty.

Christopher and Epperson (but mostly Christopher) are really shaken. Michael refers to the shirt dress as a “shower curtain,” calls the green number a “disco pumpkin” and Heidi thinks the neck piece on the green dress resembles a lobster bib.

(Poor Michael. He’s been gone so long that he’s forgotten that he already trotted out one “disco” reference this season and is now over his quota.)

When Louise and Nicolas go under the microscope, Nicolas picks this moment to reveal that he’s not a fan of ruffles. It’s about this time that Heidi points out that Nicolas has immunity this week and calls him “lucky.”

I’ll say.

After the designers are all sent away, the two judges (and their cipher sidekicks) go back to slamming the outfits they didn’t like as if they were the worst things ever to see the light of day and worshipping the four middling outfits which they declared just this side of genius.

The designers come back.

 Irina wins! (Yea!)

Gordana, Carol Hannah and Shirin are sent to safety.

Then Epperson’s sent away. And then Nicolas, who Heidi AGAIN calls “very lucky” to have immunity.

(What details about what he did or didn’t do didn’t we hear? There had to be more than that, right? It’s as if they KNEW the “Feather Prince” was sandbagging in this challenge.)

Oh, did I mention that Heidi’s been saying the whole time that “one or more of you” will be eliminated this week? Because she’s been repeating that more often than radio stations played Michael Jackson songs all damn summer.

Which leaves Louise and (a now bawling) Christopher standing on the runway.

“Louise … you’re out.”

Painfully long pause. More sobs.

“Christopher …”

A pause long enough to read the entire Senate heath care bill.

“… you’re in.”

Whew.

Not that I wanted to see Louise go, but I would have broken shit if Gay Amish Beard Guy was 86’ed over this.

Next Time On Project Runway: We damn well better get Nina back.