Project Runway: The Art Of Ambien

Project Runway: Season Six
Episode: The Art Of Ambien
November 5, 2009

Previously on Project Runway: The designers were charged with the unenviable task of making a dress which is sort of like a dress they made before. And when all was said and done, we lost designer Shiny Pants Logan. His words said he was disappointed to have been eliminated. His face said the same thing it’s said since day one.

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As we get closer and closer to the euthanizing of this season, we feel as forlorn as does Poor Christopher as he sits all alone in the boys’ room, ruminating on his status as last XY chromosome standing.

He tells us for the umpty-umpth time how he’s the odd duck here, how he’s never been to design school and and how this is his dream and such. I had hoped we’d heard the end of it, but nooooo. In fact, we’ll hear this a few dozen times before the hour’s up.

As they say back home, “Que disco guayado.” (Translation: “Dude’s a broken record with that shit.”)

They head to the runway for the (unseen on _this_ show) dismissal of another model, in this case, Logan’s chickie. I believe her name was Bangy.

Heidi sends the remaining designers to Los Angeles’ Getty Museum where they are greeted by Tim and L.A. Mayor Tom Bradley. (Did we mention this was filmed a while ago?)

After a message from the city boosters, Tim sends the designers (and their models) into the museum to look around. Once inside, they are to seek out some art piece which will serve as the inspiration for their outfit in this, their final elimination challenge.

Now, _that’s_ how inspiration works. None of this, “Here’s a picture of some random place you’ve never visited. Get inspired by that place,” stuff.

They scatter through the halls to seek out their inspiring art.

Disclaimer: I’d say I know more about art than your average schlub in line at Target. But far less that your average Project Runway fan. So forgive me if I screw this up royally.

Carol Hannah becomes focused on this elaborate 17th century French canopy bed which is luxurious, flowing and features a blue fabric with a gold brocade.


Irina picks out Godward’s painting of Mischief and Repose, (which I wouldn’t know had they not mentioned it by name). It features two women in diaphanous robes lying on a marble floor. The designer is enchanted by the sheer fabric of the women’s clothes and the color of the marble.


Gordana, meanwhile, becomes enchanted with a impressionistic Monet painting of Rouen Cathedral. The painting causes the designer to get really emotional and expound on her secret spirituality and such.



The other two designers seek their inspiration from the art and architecture outside.




Althea decides that she wants to create something reminiscent of the building’s architecture, and Christopher The Odd Duck is naturally drawn to the water.

Hence, he seeks his inspiration in a fountain out front. He sees himself as a big gray rock. With algae.

Off to Mood.

They buy fabric. They run around. And Irina skins an alpaca with her teeth.

As blood drips from her fangs, Tim says something about Irina’s carcass looking like a Mongolian rabbit or something …

And it’s back to the workroom.

After the requisite inter-designer backbiting for the cameras, Tim shows up.

He’s impressed with Gordana’s Monet-inspired flowing strapless creation, but reminds her that he never knows what the judges (or the 101  judges’ seat-fillers) will think. All weepy, she says that she’s making this one for herself.

He seems to also like Christopher’s rock-and-algae inspired look but is distressed that the designer wants to attach some kind of stalactites to the outfit. Now the question comes, will Christopher, for once in this competition, listen to the Tim or go off and do his own thing and lose again?

Irina’s goddess-inspired dress is looking good, but she mentions that, due to the transparency of the dress in the painting, she’s adding a lot of lining to hers. And then there’s the carcass on her second dress form. She says she wanted it because the color is like the marble in the painting. Tim says it looks a bit like roadkill.

She thinks about it for about a second before opting to ditch it entirely.

Carol Hannah seems to be doing well with her golden gown. And while the color doesn’t seem to recall the bed inspiration, there is this golden brocade on one shoulder which does. At some point, she mentions to Tim that she wants to drape something across it and he recoils. Being the show’s second smart cookie, the girl knows that’s her cue to 86 that idea.

And then there’s Althea. She’s hard at work on another complicated quilt-work skirt which, in a manner of speaking, does mirror the modern brickwork of the museum’s exterior. But when Tim points out that it’s a “panel of puckering,” I realize that that’s this girl’s entire aesthetic. Virtually everything she’s made has made me think, “Hmm, I wonder how that would look if it was made well and didn’t look like I sewed the damn thing?”

A few snipes later, we’re off to the show. There, Heidi informs us that AGAIN we’re not getting both Michael Kors and Nina Garcia. (This week, we only get Nina.)

What the what?! It’s the week where we decide which THREE go to Fashion Week. It’s the week that TWO of the remaining designers go home. And we STILL don’t get the two primary judges for this?

Fuck that.

The models walk. The outfits are as they appeared, all basically good (except for Althea’s complicated, unfinished mess). On questioning, the panel complains that Irina’s look isn’t done any favors by her chunky heels, bracelet and headpiece.

They have her model remove them and stand on the runway barefoot.

Oh dear. It looks like someone didn’t use the Macy’s accessory wall thoughtfully.

Since they need to fill time and provide some drama (or, in this case, “drama”), we’re treated to the designers having to explain why they “deserve” to go to Fashion Week and to name which other two designers should go with them.

Basically, it’s another excuse to see Christopher cry buckets.

When it’s all over, the panel decides that the dresses each had flaws, but were all basically good (except for Althea’s complicated, unfinished mess). So (I presume) they decided to just ignore everything they just saw and send the three they’ve liked throughout the competition though to the finals.

Congrats Irina, Carol Hannah and … Althea.

So sorry, Gordana and Christopher.

So sorry you had to create some of your best work this week for nothing since it didn’t matter anyway.

See you next week for the finals when we’ll get closer to … getting to see a different season when they’ll hopefully have fixed the “panel of puckering” that this show has become.