Project Runway: Finally, Part 1

Project Runway: Season Six
Episode: Finally, Part 1
November 12, 2009

Previously on Project Runway: We had a totally worthless episode where the designers got inspiration from a great museum and made some pretty dresses. Those were critiqued and then totally ignored, allowing the standard partial judging panel to put forward three designers to the finals based on work they did earlier. In the end, Christopher and Gordana, who made two of their best dresses, were sent packing, and Irina, Carol Hannah and Althea moved on to the finals.

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Hey, kiddies. This is the episode where we see the designers go home, work on their designs, Tim comes to visit, they come to New York for Fashion Week and are startled to learn they have to make one last dress.

That’s what happens.

So, after the (only seen on last week’s Models show) elimination of Christopher and Gordana’s models, Heidi sends everyone home to await the court ruling on the Weinsteins/Bravo lawsuit work on their 12-outfit collections for Fashion Week.

And before you know it, it’s a snowy winter’s day and Sir Tim of Gunn arrives at the Long Island home which is now home base for Carol Hannah.

It seems our favorite pixie (who still insists on that unfortunate raccoon makeup) has moved from Charleston, S.C., to New York state to further her design career. Now she has taken up residence at a friend’s lovely home (which the husband had wondered how she could afford on her own until this was explained).

She then shows the mentor her work, which was inspired by a tour she took of the Duke University campus on her seven-month trek up from South Carolina to New York. (OK, maybe it wasn’t seven months, but I do suspect she may have walked there, considering how long it took.)

Generally, her collection appears lovely. And we see that she’s stretched (for once) and has finally opted to make pants and separates in addition to her usual evening wear. And, as he has in previous episodes, Tim disabuses her of certain design choices.

After that quick look-see, Carol Hannah “surprises” Tim by having him meet her family and friends. We meet the designer's positively stunning mother, get some biographical info on the lass, see Tim baking while wearing his blazer under an apron (natch) and then it’s time to move on.

He bids her adieu while standing in about three feet of snow. It’s quite touching. All that’s missing are the big, furry Doctor Zhivago hats, a train and “Lara’s Theme.”

Next, Tim heads into Manhattan to check in on Irina’s progress. On his way, we see a bus bench ad for the then-upcoming Grammy award telecast. I believe that was the one where Christopher Cross ran off with all those golden statuettes. (Did we mention this was taped a long time ago?)

At Irina’s studio/apartment, Tim is greeting by a cute, but really yappy Princess who I fear could bite passers-by. Oh, and Irina has a cute dog, too. (Oh, relax! I kid because I love.)

Irina shows Tim her mostly black-and-gray collection which she says is a love letter to New York, the city where she was raised and that has been her inspiration. Her really gray inspiration.

The collection also has a fair amount of that knitwear that she personally invented and Althea totally stole a few weeks back. I believe they are called “sweaters.” She also has incorporated a few slouchy “boyfriend” t-shirts with images of Coney Island.

After Tim’s critique, they head off to another “surprise” dinner with friends and family. There, Irina explains having been born in the Republic of Georgia (the one the Russians attacked, not the one with the unfortunate history with …. avery-slay). She also tells us that while her mother has always been supportive of her career choices, papa hasn’t.

So, at dinner, when Mama Irina makes a touching speech (which is “helpfully” subtitled by the producers, despite her clear English), Irina makes a big gesture of kissing her mother … and nearly forgetting her father was sitting there. Sitting there being all judge-y about this “women having shoes and not popping out babies” thing.

(Side note: During her voiceover, Irina makes me want to break things when she manages to misuse the words “me,” “myself” and “I” no less than four times in one minute. … I focus on these things. Sue me.)

After that, we see Tim put on his battlegear and head into the heart of darkness that is Dayton, Ohio. (Oh, again, I kid!) After a quick tour of the closed factories and soup kitchens, Tim arrives at the post-apocalyptic  warehouse which is home base for Althea.

She explains to Tim that she’s been watching a lot of bleak sci-fi movies and that is where she has turned for inspiration for her collection. (Tim can barely stop himself from breaking it to her that she’s hasn’t been looking at a Mad Max/Blade Runner double-feature, but has only been looking out her window.)

Althea is overjoyed to see the mentor in order to get an opinion from outside her “bubble.” Her sad, overcast, bubble. She shows off her collection and we see that she has incorporated more of those knit “sweater” thingys that she stole from Irina.

We eagerly await the anticipated knitting needle-assisted cat fight once these two meet again. Actually, we anticipate anything that would pass for drama here.

After Tim gets a look at her work (which appears to include a black-spangled jacket from the Liza Minnelli Collection), it’s time for another “surprise” visit with friends and family. Wine is imbibed. “Ohio” is mentioned repeatedly. Mostly as a place the designer will have to leave in order to develop.

Here, we leave our usual narrative and have a quick scene where Tim calls up Irina to give her the bad news that, after a consultation with the lawyers, he’s learned that she’s not going to be allowed to incorporate images of Coney Island in her graphic t-shirts, since those are someone else’s designs. She stresses but figures a way around it.

Oh, the angst.

And before we know it, it’s Fashion Week and the designers start arriving in New York for the obligatory “let’s have them all live in the same hotel room for a few days and see if we can get them to fight” footage.

Irina, who seems to have abandoned her trademark designer smacktalk, arrives first and checks out the hotel room. Then, it’s Althea’s turn to show up and we see that she’s assumed the Irina’s mantle of the bitchiest designer, reminding us how Irina started it, adding, “Nanny, nanny boo-boo.”

After a whole lot of awkward silence, the two start wondering where the hell is Carol Hannah, since these two aren’t too keen on being alone together.

Knock. Knock.

It’s Tim. He has news. “You may be asking yourselves, ‘Where’s Carol Hannah?’” he says. Well, it seems the poor girl is sick. Really sick. It’s some kind of stomach bug. And she’s really contagious.

So, so much for that product placement moment where the three drink up the sponsoriffic champagne around the table and act like they don’t really hate each other. Will Lifetime ever catch a break?

The next morning, we see the two non-sickly designers arrive in their new workspace and unpack their designs. And, after a while, a wee, ashen, raccoon-eyed sickly face pops in the door. It’s Carol Hannah.

Yes, she’s feeling a mite better. No, she’s still sick. But she has to really “make it work.” So she greets the ladies from a safe distance and gets to work herself.

Here is where (once again) like the virus-impacted designer, I drift in and out of consciousness over the boredom of what follows.

Althea talks shit about how she’s not impressed with Irina’s designs. Althea talks shit about how Carol Hannah’s outfits can’t compete with hers. And everyone starts wondering if the modifier “Meana” can be married to the proper noun “Althea.”

After Tim pokes around the collections and makes more recommendations, the designers get a visit from a pair of total strangers.

I believe they are called “Michael Kors” and “Nina Garcia.”

The designers tell us these two mythical individuals will be judging the final competition and, while they’re glad to have their input, they would really rather these two not see their work before the outfits come down the runway.

Althea asks a pretty good question about the order in which outfits should walk the runway. But when the subject turns to color, Nina explains how it’s hard to sell an all-black collection. Here the camera zooms in on Irina for “emphasis.”

Oh no! Irina’s made an all black-and-gray collection! And Nina doesn’t like that! What ever will Irina do?

Will she ditch everything she’s been doing and start over again? Will she suddenly decide to throw chartreuse and purple trim on her outfits?

Basically, Irina decides she’s going forward with what she’s made. Imagine that!

Hey, we take what drama we can get at this point.

And after that’s out of the way, Heidi and Tim arrive in the workroom for the “shocking” revelation that the designers are going to have to … make a 13th design!!

Oh no! Who could have ever foreseen that?!

But they’ll have some help!

Whew! Who? Who? Who? Have they hired an army of Salvadoran seamstresses? Are they bringing in a small phalanx of old, bespectacled tailors? Or are they really going for a left-field choice and saddling them with blind double-amputees?

No! It’s the last three eliminated designers, Logan, Christopher and Gordana.

Wow! Now we know why this is the “most talked-about season of Project Runway!”

Out comes the button bag and the designers pick their helpers.

• Althea picks … Logan (thus depriving Carol Hannah of that whole awkward sexual tension distraction),

• Irina picks … Mama Gordana, and

• Carol Hannah is left with Christopher.

The three pairs get a few minutes to sketch and I nod off again.

When I wake up, they’re shopping for fabric at the real Mood and saying goodbye to the resident pooch, Swatch.

How cute.

Not so cute, though, is how Carol Hannah is feeling.

It’s not pretty. Not one bit.

Sort of like how I feel about this whole season, if you must know.

Next time on Project Runway: Carol Hannah cries. The dresses come down the final runway. And this season is FINALLY over.